Awkward Encounters of the Anderson Hummel Kind
by meghanhope77
Summary: When Blaine and Kurt are Dads, how can these things NOT happen! I really wish I knew where this...idea came from. I have NO IDEA! There is suggestive dialogue, warning! here are a few typos, but I'm not sure how to fix them here.


Professor Blaine Anderson-Hummel was sitting in the study of his home, grading papers, minding his own business. Ah, yes. Anderson-Hummel. When you have two guys getting married, how do you choose one last name? Flip a coin? No, it wasn't their style. The name meant a lot to them, it meant they could be seen as two people joined in holly matrimony, one family. Family? Cue Damien, their twelve-year-old son.

"Dad? I need help."

Blaine put down the papers, and his pen, and looked up at his son. Yes, that was still weird for him to think. His son. Blaine and Kurt decided their life was way too boring by themselves, Kurt being the arts coordinator at the local community center, and Blaine a professor of World Literature at Ohio State. They got into a rut, everything was became pretty monotonous and predictable. Perfect time to add a kid into their lives, right? They thought, how hard could it be? They'd been through enough together. Now, twelve years of tears, bodily fluids, life experiences had flown by….

"Dad? Heloooo. Earth to Dad…"

Damien waved his hand in front of Blaine's face, attempting to bring him from his apparent dazed state.

"Sorry. Yes? What do you need help with?"

"I…don't know what to do anymore."

This sounds like a fairly serious statement to anyone besides Blaine Anderson. He knew this time would be coming, and he'd argued with Kurt to make sure it didn't happen. To get this new member of their family, they obviously had to resort to some outside help. They'd chosen surrogacy, and decided to make the genes of the baby a genetic-gamble of sorts. Both of them had an equal shot at giving this kid their various traits, and when Damien came into this world with a full head of curly, black hair, Blaine knew he had won.

And now his son stood before him, looking frustrated and confused, a tube of gel in his hands, and his hair in absolutely disarray. Ridiculous hair just runs in Blaine's family, it's fact. Damien had used at least half of the gel in his hand to tame his hair, and there were still pieces sticking up. Blaine had fought Kurt to keep Damien's hair short for all those years. Kurt thought it would look cute long, but Blaine knew it was anything but cute to take care of. But when Damien asked if he could grow it out, Blaine had to let him learn. And he pleaded so cute and innocently, how could he turn him down?

"Come over here…first. You can't use that much gel ever again. Do you want your hair to fall out? "

"….No. I just. I've tried everything…"

Blaine sighed got up, and put his hand on his son's shoulder, leading him across the hall to his and Kurt's bathroom.

"Come on, let's wash this mess out, and I'll show you how to fix it."

Some time between Damien washing his hair, and Blaine getting HIS nice gel out, Kurt came home through the front door. He closed it behind him, and looked around the empty house for signs of life.

"Blaine? Babe? ….Damien?"

Kurt didn't get a response, but heard the two loves of his life up somewhere near his and Blaine's room. And the shower just turned off? Kurt went to put his shoes away in the mudroom, and then he started up the stairs. Then Kurt heard something from Blaine he didn't think he'd have to hear so soon.

"Now, just kind of put your hand on it, and move it back and forth, kind of around."

Kurt stopped dead at the top of the stairs.

"Hold on, you can use some of this, but use it sparingly."

Kurt heard that nasty sort of squelching noise out of a plastic tube like…

"Ohdeargod"

He swore as he stopped breathing. No. No way. Damien hadn't even shown any signs of liking girls…or boys for that matter…And why would Blaine be showing HIS LITTLE BABY THIS? It's just kind of…something you figured out on your own...and he was still too young. He put his head in his hands, and couldn't bear to move closer to the bathroom. He should probably be there for this. Just…no. He heard Blaine's voice again.

"Now, you gotta do this when it's still wet, or else it won't work…"

Kurt wasn't even listening enough to realize that didn't make ANY sense in regards to what he thought was happening in the bathroom right now. He was fighting his internal struggle if whether he should go in there and help…be there for moral support…or just run away and pretend like this never happened. Damien was TWELVE, Kurt hadn't started…that…until he was…well damn. He couldn't even remember….

"You have to move your hands around it….Do what feels right, whatever works for you…"

This was all too much for Kurt to handle. Couldn't he just run away for a few…forever? He heard that squelching noise again.

"This stuff doesn't actually do that much for you, just kind of makes it easier."

Death. Kurt was considering death. Why couldn't he run? He was planted at the top of this staircase until…

"No, you gotta….Here, let me show you. Come over here…"

Kurt bolted through the bedroom door like a madman, and threw open the bathroom door to find Blaine's hands in Damien's hair, and two pairs of identically shocked hazel eyes staring back at him. The door frame and mirror were still rattling when Kurt actually realized what was going on.

"Oh..god. hair. Yeah...gel. Right…"

And he ran just as fast out as he ran in. Blaine and Damien were left standing there in a daze for at least thirty seconds. Damien broke the silence.

"Um…Well. Dad's home."

"…..Yeah…."

"And…I think your hands are stuck in my hair…"

Blaine promptly removed his hands from that curly mess, and ran his hands through his without thinking.

"Shit. I mean. Shoot. You just. Keep experimenting in here…don't use all that gel, it's the good stuff, okay? I'll be back in a minute."

Blaine walked out, without really waiting for an explanation from his incredibly confused twelve-year-old.

"Kurt? Baaaaaaaabe?"

Kurt had run in and out in such a hurry, that Blaine hadn't even heard where he went. He went downstairs and checked the living room, just to find it empty. Next stop was the kitchen and pantry…they were Kurt-less.

"Hun, seriously, where'd you go? Um…is there something we need to talk about?"

He tried to say it loud enough to get Kurt's attention, but not to freak out Damien. Finally, Blaine got a light bulb as to where his husband could be. He walked out to the garage, and saw Kurt sitting beside a box of their son's baby mementos, with the "Baby's First Year" scrapbook open on his lap.

"Oh dear…Sweetheart?"

Kurt noticed Blaine had found him, and went from ghost pale to beet red in seconds flat. Kurt immediately looked down, and just threw his head into the baby book, like it could save him from the embarrassment that was coming to him. Seeing his distress, Blaine walked over and sat down next to his distraught lover, and put his hand on his knee.

"Okay, I'm undoubtedly confused….care to explain? You haven't done this since Dame turned ten…And by this, I mean burry yourself in his baby scrapbooks…"

Kurt attempted to talk with his face in the book, but all that could be heard were some inaudible squeaks and moans.

"English, please? Look at me…"

Blaine gently put his hand under Kurt's chin and pulled him to his level. Kurt was still avoiding eye contact, which was very strange for him.

"Kurt, please tell me what's wrong? I don't-"

"I-thought-that-you-were-showing-Dame-how-to-YOU-KNOW-and-I-didn't-know-what-to-do-but-run-but-then-you-offered-to-help-but-you-were-just-helping-him-with-his-hair-why-am-I-so-DUMB?"

Kurt gasped for air after his single-breathed-hyper-speed confession, and looked at Blaine sheepishly. Blaine still looked confused as ever, and his face now had the faint look to it like he got the wind knocked out of him.

"Was that English? I really don't think it was. I caught 'offered to help' and 'hair'…."

Kurt took a few more deep breaths, still trying to recover.

"I…I thought that you were…showing…our little baby-"

"First of all, he's twelve. I don't think he can be considered our baby anymore."

"Shhhh, let me finish. That's why I got so…freaked out when I came home."

"And? I was showing him how to gel his hair? It's starting to get to that point where it can't be-"

"I thought you were showing him how to masturbate."

Blaine stopped his thoughtless circles on Kurt's knee, and looked at Kurt with a look of astonishment. There was silence for a solid three seconds before Blaine busted out in the loudest belly laugh he'd had in a long time.

"BLAINE! It's not funny! I…I can't see our little Dame growing up like that yet…I can't!"

Blaine was now on the ground, clutching the imaginary stitch in his side. Kurt forcefully slapped his side to get his attention. Blaine took some deep breathes, trying to calm himself.

"I'm sorry. It's just…why…why would I even SHOW him that? I…don't even know what to say."

"I don't know! I was distraught! I mean. I learned from the internet, but he doesn't even have a computer so, someone has to…"

"Woah woah, hold on hold on…"

Blaine put his hands on both of Kurt's shoulders and looked right into his eyes.

"Babe, he's twelve. And he hasn't shown any interest in girls yet-"

"Or boys. That could happen also."

"Them either. He could like zebras for all it matters… But how bout we cross that bridge when we start cleaning out his sock drawer-"

"OHMYGODSTOPITBLAINE"

Blaine feigned mock hurt from the slap on the shoulder he'd just received from his sassy husband. He leaned over, and gave Kurt a quick peck on the lips.

"Let's not worry about that until we have to, okay?"

Kurt quickly nodded, and leaned forward for another kiss, this one lasting longer than the last. Blaine was the one that pulled away with a smile.

"Now, I have a very confused son upstairs with a poodle on his head, who needs advice. Will you be okay down here?"

"I'll come with you. I am curious how you used to deal with your hair, before you started keeping it so short."

"It's one of the mysterious of life. Second only to the question of why I didn't buzz my hair all throughout high school."

Kurt stood up, pulling Blaine with him. Kurt leaned down to put the books back in their plastic containers, and grabbed Blaine's hand on his way up. As they walked back inside, Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder.

"I'm sorry for freaking out."

"It's alright….Damien? You still up there?"

He shouted the last part up the stairs, as a black afro jetted around the corner.

"I was wondering where you went….Dad…were you scared of my hair?"

Kurt quickly walked the rest of the distance to a very hurt Damien, and gave him great hug, and a kiss on that mop-head of his.

"No Dame, not at all. I think it's adorable. When your dad had hair like yours, I though it was the cutest thing ever!"

Damien pushed away, and stuck out his tongue.

"Bleh! ADORABLE? CUTE? Girls aren't going to like me if I look CUTE! UGH!"

As he ran back into the master bathroom, Blaine and Kurt shared a look. Kurt had turned white as a sheet, for the second time today, and Blaine just had this bemused smile on his face.

"Later….we'll deal with it later."

The two walked hand in hand to the bathroom, to deal with the current problem, they'd deal with the others another day, together.


End file.
